Melon Day could go with a bang this year

[major_clanger]

The Chinese are apparently suffering from a plague of exploding watermelons.

Various causes have been suggested, including over-use of growth-promoting chemicals, although in a rare example of the vox populi understanding causation, the affected farmers readily admit that even untreated watermelons are detonating.

My suspicion? A plot by a country with a history of bonkers leadership and a national watermelon fetish. Yes, Turkmenistan is clearly seeking to deal with the prospect of its watermelon market being flooded with cheap Chinese imports. This is probably a long-standing plan instituted by the late unlamented Turkmenbashi, only now coming to, ahem, fruition...

Comments

[attimes-bracing.livejournal.com]

Good thing that LJ is blocked in Turkmenistan then...

[whotheheckami.livejournal.com]

I'm reminded of the fun I've had "having at" watermelons with a shotgun - most explosive and satisfying

[turkmenbashi.livejournal.com]

Is not me! (For once.) Is evil plot by Hamilton Academicals!

[beamjockey.livejournal.com]

I understand Dr. Buckaroo Banzai is investigating the problem.

The Fourth Bear

[a-cubed.livejournal.com]

The obvious person to be covering this story is Jasper Fforde. Anyone else read The Fourth Bear, where exploding cucumbers are an integral element of the plot (in both sense of the word)? THe Chinese are obviously doing experiments with heavy water melons (bad dum ching).

[pauldormer.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a Goon Show episode.