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major_clangerBased on exhaustive observation on the streets of London and Birmingham (and very particularly in their public transport systems, especially the London Underground) I've concluded that a lot of there's an entire field of study that an awful lot of my fellow citizens have qualified in. I say this because so many of them are clearly so damn good at it that I can only imagine extensive study and training was involved.
The name of this discipline? Obstructology
Basic Obstructology. This is the static, passive core of Obstructology, and includes:
- standing in front of tube gates or by the driver on a bus rooting around for one's Oyster card.
- boarding a tube train and stopping so as to block the doors, as it's not as if anyone might be behind you.
- picking the narrowest point on a busy pavement to stop and peruse a map (especially a big one that has to be unfolded).
Diploma-level Obstructology At this level more active obstruction is introduced, such as walking in a small figure of eight in a busy shopping mall while having an animated mobile phone call.
Graduate Studies in Obstructology For those who have mastered lower levels of Obstructology, the most advanced qualifications cover such techniques as ambling slowly along without obvious pauses or meandering but still managing to occupy so much personal space as to make getting past almost impossible.
I am considering the curriculum for the corresponding field of Anti-Obstructology, although so far it mainly involves following the handly instructional diagrams for a cattle prod.
The name of this discipline? Obstructology
Basic Obstructology. This is the static, passive core of Obstructology, and includes:
- standing in front of tube gates or by the driver on a bus rooting around for one's Oyster card.
- boarding a tube train and stopping so as to block the doors, as it's not as if anyone might be behind you.
- picking the narrowest point on a busy pavement to stop and peruse a map (especially a big one that has to be unfolded).
Diploma-level Obstructology At this level more active obstruction is introduced, such as walking in a small figure of eight in a busy shopping mall while having an animated mobile phone call.
Graduate Studies in Obstructology For those who have mastered lower levels of Obstructology, the most advanced qualifications cover such techniques as ambling slowly along without obvious pauses or meandering but still managing to occupy so much personal space as to make getting past almost impossible.
I am considering the curriculum for the corresponding field of Anti-Obstructology, although so far it mainly involves following the handly instructional diagrams for a cattle prod.
