But can it sing "Daisy, Daisy"?
Feb. 28th, 2005 06:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
major_clangerThumbing through Flight International today, I noticed a story about 'Clarissa', a new interactive voice command interface being installed in the International Space Station.
"In addition to reading procedure steps, CLARISSA can answer simple questions, display pictures, read ahead, take voice notes and navigate through a procedure to other steps when commanded to do so."
For heaven's sake, hasn't anybody on this project watched any SF movies? We all know what happens when you start installing talking computers on spacecraft.
"Open the airlock module hatch, Clarissa."
"I'm sorry, Sergei, but I'm afraid I can't do that."
Mark my words, it'll all end in tears.
What Every Astronaut Should Know From Watching SF Movies:
1) Never trust your spaceship to a talking computer. You'll only end up footling around in the logic boards and voiding your warranty.
2) Do not let your concern for the spaceship's long-serving cat overrule your concern about the spaceship's new monster.
3) Sensibly-designed Weapons of Mass Destruction can be disarmed by re-inserting the steel pin with the big red ribbon attached saying 'REMOVE BEFORE FLIGHT'. Philosophical arguments should not have to come into it.
4) If the space station / moonbase / alien construct is full of mutilated corpses, there is probably a reason for this. Leave before you meet it.
5) Crew members with hideous sucking things attached to their face are to be treated on a strictly out-patient basis.
6) If your crew-mate returns from the alien ship with 'radio failure', get him to raise his visor before you open the airlock inner door.
...I'm sure more can be added.
MC
"In addition to reading procedure steps, CLARISSA can answer simple questions, display pictures, read ahead, take voice notes and navigate through a procedure to other steps when commanded to do so."
For heaven's sake, hasn't anybody on this project watched any SF movies? We all know what happens when you start installing talking computers on spacecraft.
"Open the airlock module hatch, Clarissa."
"I'm sorry, Sergei, but I'm afraid I can't do that."
Mark my words, it'll all end in tears.
What Every Astronaut Should Know From Watching SF Movies:
1) Never trust your spaceship to a talking computer. You'll only end up footling around in the logic boards and voiding your warranty.
2) Do not let your concern for the spaceship's long-serving cat overrule your concern about the spaceship's new monster.
3) Sensibly-designed Weapons of Mass Destruction can be disarmed by re-inserting the steel pin with the big red ribbon attached saying 'REMOVE BEFORE FLIGHT'. Philosophical arguments should not have to come into it.
4) If the space station / moonbase / alien construct is full of mutilated corpses, there is probably a reason for this. Leave before you meet it.
5) Crew members with hideous sucking things attached to their face are to be treated on a strictly out-patient basis.
6) If your crew-mate returns from the alien ship with 'radio failure', get him to raise his visor before you open the airlock inner door.
...I'm sure more can be added.
MC
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Date: 2005-02-28 06:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-28 06:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-01 10:38 am (UTC)